Here is a sampling of filmmaker misconceptions about life:
1. Only in Hollywood films do women wear matching bra and underwear. This just seems to be the norm. In reality, realizing that you are wearing matching underthings is sort of like finding out it is February 29th. "Wow! Really? Huh. Well, that's a heck of a thing." The choice of these garments is almost entirely predicated upon the colour of the article of clothing a woman plans on wearing over it. End of story. Underthings demystified.
2. Car doors do not require shutting. In real life, I think only minivans have this capability. But you still have to pull on the handle or something. It's not like you jump out of the car and your Honda Odyssey just knows. "Don't worry, buddy. You get on with your day. I'll button up."
3. People don't say, 'Goodbye,' when ending a phone call. They just hang up like their acquaintances won't be offended by such a brusque cutoff without so much as a dismissal. Real telephone conversations don't end like that. Usually--or, maybe just depending on the person you are talking to--there is the a 2-10 minute wind up period where people start mentioning that they had better get going and saying "Well," in a definitive sort of manner. In the movies, people just hang up. It's crazy. I'm actually kind of jealous of this one.
4. Female athletes/warriors always kick into action with their hair down. They do this intentionally. It's just absurd. Try and find your car in a parking lot on a windy day when your hair is down; let alone score the game winning goal or fend off a sword-wielding Saxon. That is a recipe for tragedy.
I realize that filmmakers make the choices they do based on how things will look onscreen. Maybe your actress looks better with her hair down. Perhaps pausing to close the car door slows down the action of the scene. I understand that. However, what about the fact that instead of watching your movie and being involved in the story unfolding, I'm busy wondering about who actually wears matching underwear?
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| Because he's not buying it, either. |
Honda Odyssey's DON'T just do their own thing?! What! And here I've been feeling somewhat puzzled and pleasantly surprised, on my few random trips in such vehicles, when those doors sloooowly close behind me. I thought they just knew. (By the way, your line "Don't worry buddy; You get on with your day, I'll button up" totally cracked me up :) And it sounded particularly appropriate, I thought, imagining it coming from a Honda - responsible and reliable vehicles that they are).
ReplyDeleteAs for matching undies -- I actually tried going matchy-matchy for a brief season (ha!), hoping that the knowledge that my outfit was fully put together from top to bottom, inside and outside, would serve as a kind of secret source of confidence and self-assuredness. That experiment lasted maybe a week; seriously, who needs one more hassle and decision to slow things down in the morning? The movies can keep their matching undies! ;)