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Showing posts from April, 2014

Who Does That?

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Ever been watching a movie and been struck with the thought, 'Who does that?'   A quick poll of my acquaintance reveals the answer: No one.

Here is a sampling of filmmaker misconceptions about life:

1.  Only in Hollywood films do women wear matching bra and underwear.  This just seems to be the norm.  In reality, realizing that you are wearing matching underthings is sort of like finding out it is February 29th. "Wow! Really?  Huh. Well, that's a heck of a thing."  The choice of these garments is almost entirely predicated upon the colour of the article of clothing a woman plans on wearing over it.  End of story.  Underthings demystified.

2. Car doors do not require shutting.  In real life, I think only minivans have this capability.  But you still have to pull on the handle or something.  It's not like you jump out of the car and your Honda Odyssey just knows. "Don't worry, buddy. You get on with your day.  I'll button up."

3. People don…

Good Friday Thoughts - "It is finished."

When Jesus said, “It is finished”, it looked like death.  
Jesus said, “It is finished.”  And Satan thought that he had won.
Place yourself at the Place of the Skull where the Author of Life was brought to die.  Maybe you would stand only a few feet from the foot of the cross--close--where the air was heavy with pain and punctuated with gasps of agony from those on the crosses and those who watched as their beloved ones began the slow, hard work of dying. Or, maybe you would hang back with the crowd further away because, you’re not quite sure, but there is something about this Man. You’re waiting to see what will happen. You want to see God show up.   Your ears are assaulted by the crowing of those who called for Jesus to come down from the cross if he really was who He claimed to be.  Send a legion of angels, Lord.  Send a punitive bolt of lightening from heaven. Rend the earth so that everyone knows who You are.  So that everyone knows Who they are messing with.  Then the darkness  cam…

Rally Cry for the Forgotten Girls of my Tribe (Part 2)

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"You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."
This is my manifesto to the forgotten girls of my tribe.  This is my call to arms--my rally cry to being alive--because someone somewhere along the line told us that life was a waiting game.  Wait on God. Wait on the right circumstance.  Wait on sex.  Wait on the right moment.  Get a Promise Ring and True Love Waits.  Someone handed us T-shirt slogans to live by instead of living water.  And while we may feel we've done everything right--trimmed up our lamps with extra oil and whatnot--we still feel like the foolish virgins locked out of the feast.

I think all the waiting is wrong.  Or, I think that it sent us all an unconscious message that we were never meant to read.  Wait on God, sure, absolutely.  But let's not just blanket apply that slogan without context--without individual circumstances--because it might reinforce the impression that God is one tardy fellow and that really isn't the impressi…

Rally Cry for the Forgotten Girls of my Tribe (Part 1)

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What the hell is the deal with all these awesome surplus Christian women? Has there been a war that I didn't know about and now there is a vast disparity in demographics?  Is it post WW1 and suddenly we single gals are realizing that we'll be the old maiden aunts forever?  Are we doomed to stare longingly at the faded photographs of our could-have-been relationships and pine tragically? What major event within the wider Church have I missed?  I'm not the only one asking.  Where did the guys go? Do we need to mount an Amazon-like rescue mission?  Because, honestly, I think we would if knew that the Red Bull had driven all the Unicorns into the Sea.

I know these women are awesome because I know them.  They are so much fun.  They are smart and courageous.  They are well-read and competent.  Often they are teachers--or, they pursue education.  They have their masters and Ph.D's.  They volunteer and encourage and sing on the worship team.  They are catches of the highest o…

Branding is for Cattle

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I'm beginning to figure out this online marketing thing.  As in, I've been taken in by online marketing and I've started to notice.  I'm not talking about pop ups and banners that seems to know where I online shop.  I'm talking about the subtler advertising that masquerades as knowledge.  I feel like I have caught a glimpse of the Wizard behind the curtain and he's pulling on all the levers with gusto.  If you've ever clicked on an internet article titled anything like, "Three surprising facts about being a human that will shock you!" you've fallen for it as well.  Or maybe it was "Nine things that men wish women knew about them."  I don't want to be uninformed… So I bite, like a fish on bait and inevitably feel the sharp edge of the hook slide through the soft flesh of my mouth.  There is nothing there but the illusion of food.  These 'articles' are the cheap writing of the glossy magazines.  90% advertising space.  10%…

When You're a Jet, You're a Jet All The Way

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Up until a year ago I had a different website to promote (and I use that term ironically) a comic book series I was working on at the time.  On that now defunct site, the artist and I also ran a weekly webcomic in addition to our superhero venture.  Useless Degrees At Work starred ourselves and was all about trying to get a superhero comic published.  In one of our very first webcomics we brainstormed how we might attract traffic to our site and eventually become such a phenomenon that Marvel would come knocking with handfuls of cash.

Like most of the conversations we had in those early days, we can now only laugh at our childlike understanding of the process which we had embarked upon.  We didn't have the first clue about marketing online content.  I had some vague idea about needing to include words that are regularly searched on Google but that was about it.











I realized today when mentioning the title of this blog to someone, that I hadn't advanced much further since then. …